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How much is too much? Not a question that is ever asked at BMW’s M Division…

- SIRISH CHANDRAN

WITH 616BHP THERE CAN ONLY EVER BE ONE verdict on BMW M Division’s two new mega-monsters; a rather obvious one involving two thumbs, both pointing skywards. After all, how do you not laugh at the ludicrousness of a 2.3 tonne SUV flinging itself to 100kmph in a scant 3.8 seconds? How do you not marvel at the tarmac-destroying potential of 950Nm of max twist called to action by launch control? How dead do you have to be to not flip out over the sheer insanity of an SUV that maxes out at 290kmph? And how desperately enthusiastic about EVs does one have to be to not go hallelujah over the excessiveness of a 4.4-litre V8 force charged by two turbos, spewing out a volcano of heat, spitting out anger, and via the speakers, amplified awesomeness? How flipping amazing are the BMW X5 M and X6 M!

It will cost a pile of money as enormous as that grille — which you didn’t notice because the M Division guys have blacked it out — but if you do have mountains of cash to burn, I would enthusiastically point you in the direction of the closest BMW dealership. The only question I really have to address is which of these mad things do you make hay in while oil prices get absolutely decimated with the pandemic.

Cut from the same cloth

They weigh practically the same. From the nose till the B-pillar they are the same. The nostrils are wider on the X6 but even on the X5, the over-sized kidneys take a while to get used to. And the motor, the transmission, the drivetrain, the wheels and tyres, the interiors, the big red M buttons on the steering wheel, everything is the same. The only real difference is that the X6 M trades the headroom, airiness and the practicality of the X5 M for a fashionforward slope-back.