How Should You Talk To Your Kids About Weight?

You want your children to be kind and non-judgemental of others, while also teaching them about the need to maintain a healthy weight. Estelle Lee faces the dilemma.

- Estelle Lee

AS ANY PARENT knows, the most important conversations will usually happen about five minutes after your child is meant to be asleep, when you’re at your most ragged and least prepared. And so it was at bedtime recently that my son, aged seven, shared the news that a school friend had recently told him that I was, in a word, fat.

Fat. One powerful word loaded with judgement, anxiety and stigma. So much so that the straight-talking Weight Watchers last month rebranded itself as the more wellness-conscious WW. Fat must not be seen, let alone spoken about. And yet, we’re also told that obesity is slowly killing us and the NHS is in crisis because of it. Nearly 10% of British children in their first year of school are obese, rising to 20% by the time they reach the last year of primary school. So as good parents we anxiously bang on about having your five-a-day and ban sugary cereals.

With such conflicting messages, it’s hard to work out how best to pass on a ‘body neutral’ example to children. So with only seconds to formulate a thoughtful reply to this playground jibe, the silent reactions in my head went from initial outrage – ‘That child is never coming around here again!’ – to a well-worn and familiar self-loathing.