'I was in a dark place I've never felt so lonely'

Georgia Kousoulou opens up to new about her secret battle with postnatal depression as she celebrates son Brody's first birthday

- NICOLA FAHEY

As we catch up with newly engaged TOWIE star Georgia Kousoulou on the set of her ITVBe reality show Georgia & Tommy, she excitedly tells us all about her son Brody's first birthday party.

Georgia and fiancé Tommy Mallet's firstborn turned one on 5 May, and they enjoyed lavish celebrations with close family and friends over the weekend.

But the milestone isn't the only reason Georgia, 30, is celebrating - she is also toasting herself for surviving a year of motherhood. The Essex-born star gave birth by C-section and for the first few weeks struggled to bond with Brody. Until now, she has kept her battle with postnatal depression within her inner circle, plagued by feelings of guilt and shame that she didn't feel the instant intense love she was told would be inevitable.

Speaking for the first time about her ordeal, she tells new, "I didn't get that overwhelming feeling of love from the moment I first held him that everyone speaks about. I was looking at this baby like, 'Is this mine?' It took me a while. It was love at first sight visually, but emotionally I didn't have that uncontrollable love and when I didn't get it straight away it really stressed me out. It upset me for ages and sent me into a dark place."

Georgia had opted for a C-section when her final scan showed that baby Brody was in the breech position. Until that moment she had been preparing for a water birth and admits the procedure made bonding with Brody more challenging.

"Leading up to it, I was like, 'I'm going to have a water birth,' and I was doing all these classes, but weirdly I just knew I wasn't going to give birth vaginally. I'd had a few scares along the way, where they couldn't feel the baby or find him at one point. I remember being heavily pregnant and in bits, so I said I wanted a C-section as it was safest for Brody.