The RIDE Stuff

A crumby-looking passenger boat, La Quila, bobs up and down by the side of a wooden dock that has seen better days.

Passengers, dressed in early-20th century finery, are making their way off this less-than-seaworthy vessel, given instructions by the rather familiar figure of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. “We have a dock on the left and dock on the right,” he cries. “It’s confusing – that’s why we call it a paradox.” Ahem. Roll up, roll up ladies and gentlemen… and welcome to Jungle Cruise.

It’s June 2018 (yes, that long ago) and Total Film has relocated to Kauai, the verdant Hawaiian island famed for hosting numerous Jurassic Park movies. Today, the land around a giant reservoir is doubling for Brazil, circa 1916. A two-floor wooden tavern, bedecked with oil lamps, a chandelier and grand piano, stands close by the dock. On the opposite side of the river is a marketplace, filled with birdcages, plants and baskets of vegetables, and a bar, with wicker chairs, an old brass coffee machine and a blue-and-white tea set.

Johnson, sporting a waistcoat, natty red neckerchief and a cap that gives him the look of Humphrey Bogart in The African Queen, is realising what can only be described as a lifelong dream. Or at least one that stretches back to 2003, when he was kicking back in his local multiplex. “The first Pirates Of The Caribbean trailer came out and I was blown away,” he explains later, joining TF in the tavern between scenes. “And it created this feeling inside me that I’ll never forget… I remember thinking I would love to have that opportunity to make a movie based off an iconic ride.”