WHAT – STILL NO DIVORCE?

It’s been four years since Angie and Brad called it quits but they’ve yet to make it official. What’s holding them back?

- NICOLA WHITFIELD

ANGIE, Angie, Angie, Brad, Brad, Brad – what are you two doing to us? Just when we think you’re getting your act together, one of you goes and does something and everything falls apart again.

It’s almost like you’re sabotaging your own divorce. Which makes us wonder: are you? Is there a part of you deep down that just can’t let go?

Four years have passed since whatever went down on that plane from France to Los Angeles and still there’s no signature on the dotted line. Still you remain legally married.

Could it be that it’s too hard to hammer the final nail in the coffin of a fairytale? That when you once made such beautiful magic together it’s impossible to let it go?

If you ask us, the signs are all there. A spark that once burnt so brightly can’t just fizzle out. Right?

ONCE UPON A TIME

It was a romance to beat all romances. Two impossibly good-looking people got together to make a movie.

Mr & Mrs Smith wasn’t a great piece of cinematic art – three stars at most. But the chemistry between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie was pure five-star firecracker stuff.

Not even poor Jennifer Aniston, gorgeous and quirky though she undoubtedly was, stood a chance in the face of such redhot sizzle.

And there was so much enchantment to come: Brad and Angie on the beach with toddler Maddox, Brad handing the tot his bucket and spade while Angie, all lithe and lovely in her black boob-tube dress, looked on. A procession of beautiful Brangelina babies followed: Zahara with her Ethiopian elfishness, Shiloh with her pillowy pout, Pax with his chiselled features, and twins Knox and Vivienne, the adorable pigeon pair to top off half-a-dozen to-die-for tiddlers.