Dear Carol – Same Crush

My friend and I have been best friends since first grade. She recently told me her crush, and it happened to be the same guy I liked. I feel like I’m stuck in a movie! Of course, I’m not going to tell my best friend I like the guy she likes—I wouldn’t want to hurt her. So I’ve been avoiding our mutual crush as best I can, but he and I still have one class together. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope my feelings go away soon.

- By Carol Weston

Dear Same Crush,

Whenever you think, “All I can do is cross my fingers,” there’s usually more you can do. If your bestie and the crush seem to like each other, take a step back and start noticing other cuties. If, however, they aren’t an item, you don’t have to back off forever, especially if you think he does like you. Next time a friend confesses that she likes the same guy you like, rather than clamming up, laugh and say, “Oh no, me too! Let’s make a pact to not let this mess up our friendship.” Because here’s the thing: In the big picture, your relationship with each other probably will last longer than any fleeting romance.

MY BFF CHEATS

My best friend keeps texting me to send her the answers to our virtual school homework. I’ve asked her to stop multiple times. I’m worried that if I tell, it would ruin our friendship or get one of us suspended or even expelled.

Dear My BFF Cheats,

I don’t think you should report her, but can you subtly try to change the subject in your texts? If you want to be more direct, say, “I’d be glad to study together, but I don’t like sharing my answers because I’m afraid we might both end up getting in trouble.”

BAD BOY

I have a crush on someone who actually likes me back, but he’s never told me in person, only mutual friends. He has sort of a bad reputation. When I see him, he smiles and stares, then turns away. He sometimes makes groans or moans or a mwah-mwah sound while I pass by. He told one guy to unfollow me on Insta (jealousy?) and he told another guy that we are friends. But are we? How can we be friends if we haven’t even talked?