I WENT TO WIFE SCHOOL

What does marriage mean in 2020? Reluctant bride-to-be Katie Glass signs up to wife-training academies in Russia and America to find out how not to do it

- Katie Glass

It was my hilarious fiancé’s idea. He’d been watching Marie Kondo and complaining about the state of my flat. He’d discovered I did not own an iron. Or a kettle. And kept only nail varnish and vodka in my fridge. “You should go to wife school,” he joked, googling it as we laughed. I don’t know who was more surprised when several options appeared.

I barely need to detail my objections to wife school. The very concept feels regressive and sexist. What does it even mean to be a wife in 2020, when I earn more than my fiancé does? Going to wife school would have remained a silly joke if, secretly, I hadn’t also had my own worries about my suitability for marriage.

With our wedding fast approaching, I’m increasingly anxious about what “forever” really involves – and what becoming a wife means for me. Does craving security and romance while wanting a big party and meringue dress mean I’m not a proper feminist? Mostly, I worry marriage means losing my own identity. When people joke that being a wife entails having my husband’s dinner on the table with a ribbon in my hair, I’m not laughing – that’s exactly what I fear. Is there such a thing as a “modern marriage” or is that an oxymoron?

I’m not the only woman battling such concerns. The frequency of marriage, seen increasingly as expensive and unnecessary, is declining. And yet, like about 116,000 Australian couples a year, I’m doing it. Maybe a “wife school” could teach me something about love as well as marriage.