Wildlife's biggest foes

Val picks wildlife threats she’d like to banish to Room 101

- Val Bourne

IT’S been a dodgy summer here, looking back, but whenever we manage to sit outside for a cup of tea, we seem to be assailed by mechanical noises. Given that we’re down a no-through lane and live in a village of only 200 people, that’s amazing. The worst culprit is the strimmer. They make a high-pitched whine and they go on, and on and on… Even I can hear them with my less-than-adequate ears. My other affliction is numbers. I can’t do them, so when I told the Best Beloved that I wanted to put the strimmer in Room 303, he quickly corrected me: “That’s a road, Val – I think you mean Room 101.”

For those of you who haven’t seen the programme, three celebrities get to banish their least favourite thing to Room 101, and then the host chooses the most worthy occupant. There’s a website ( comedy.co.uk) that lists a few.