Children And Their Habits

How often do you find yourself the centre of unwanted attention in the supermarket, as your three-year-old screams louder than ten vuvuzelas? Ann Gadd takes a look at children’s more unattractive habits, starting with tots who have tantrums.

- Ann Gadd

What adults suppress, children (and pets) often express. Not a comforting insight when your grown dog still chews everything within reach and has a nasty habit of eyeing your leg with fond intention, the cats are all totally neurotic, and your three-year-old just bit his best friend. ‘Could this be anything to do with my anxiety?’ you may ask. ‘Or my partner’s stress?’

INTERCONNECTION 

In a family environment, we are not separate islands floating in a vast sea of indifference – we are all connected, so what happens to one person in the family will affect the others, emotionally and physically. For example, a couple I know are having a horrendous time with a building project (sadly not an unfamiliar scenario). Is it mere coincidence that their two-year-old has developed eczema, a disorder symbolic of antagonism and irritation?

Habits that children develop are often responses to their environment and those within that environment (particularly in the case of the more sensitive child in the family). The realisation of how we interconnect is not about beating ourselves up as adults, however – most parents really do try their best. Rather it’s about understanding that your child’s individual habit may also involve the family dynamics as a whole. Nobody is without issues – working through them is part of the reason we’re here.

There are few children who don’t at some time display habits that we as parents would rather they didn’t. So why do children act out this way, and what can we as parents do to understand and lessen this behaviour (and remain sane at the same time)?