'My Ex Boyfriend Murdered My Dad'

JESSICA SHERRY grew up in a farming village in New South Wales. During her first few months of high school in June 2007, the star of the rugby league team wooed her into being his girlfriend. Their relationship was tumultuous, and he often threatened to kill himself. What her then-boyfriend did to her and her family next made headlines across Australia in 2009. Now, Sherry tells Marissa Miller how she’s learnt to stay strong for her mum and sisters, and why it’s important to take action at the first signs of domestic abuse

- Marissa Miller

Telling my younger sisters that our dad was dead was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do; it felt like a nightmare – one that I couldn’t wake up from. I grew up in rural Stockinbingal, and was the eldest of three daughters. After finishing at a primary school of just 50 students, I went to a small high school of about 450 students.

At high school, I met [my ex-boyfriend]. He was only three months older than me but was in the grade above me. He knew everyone and was an important part of the school rugby league team. I had friends who were childhood friends with him and he and a friend had a joint birthday party; this was the first time we had really come in contact. In the weeks that followed, I found myself getting more and more attention to the point where I was being followed [by him] as I left school and while I was around town with my friends.

He turned up uninvited to a birthday party for friends of mine in June 2007. After succumbing to peer pressure, I agreed to date him. As a friend said, ‘If you aren’t happy with it, give it a week and end it.’

I kept this news from my parents as it wasn’t something I really wanted and he wasn’t the sort of person I thought my parents would approve of. I tried to end it, but the next day at school I was bombarded with reasons for taking him back, by not only him, but from my friends as well. So, I reluctantly took him back. I broke up with him about once a week after that because I wasn’t happy, but every time he pleaded with me to take him back. The pleading turned nasty and he threatened to take his own life.

Once, after I successfully made the point that we were horrible to each other and we weren’t happy together, he sent me photos of bullets and a gun that he planned to use on himself; he told me he couldn’t live without me. I had lost my friends and fell into a deep depression.