Becoming Single

WHEN CHANGE COMES, IT’S RUTHLESS

- Uday Benegal

I wasn’t always single. Most of my adult years have been spent in matrimonial bond, an overwhelming number of them in a happy relationship. Epiphanies can be inconvenient. Sometimes they can come at you in the form of a riptide – stealthily, subversively, unstoppable. The only way to survive a riptide, it’s said, is to not fight it and swim parallel to the shore until you’re past the grasp of the undercurrent. At first, I resisted and was nearly taken down. By the time I realised that the unfathomable restlessness I’d been feeling for some time was a sign of the end of my marriage, it was too late. Devastated at the thought of having to hurt the most important person in my life, I tried to reverse my feelings. But change is ruthless and you don’t stand a chance when it comes. So, I gave in and swam parallel. But by the time I was able to reach solid ground, I found myself on a bank different from my till-then life partner. It’s been more than five years since the balmy isle of Singledom welcomed me. I’m in no danger of leaving.

Being single – as in, having always been single, or for a very long time – is one thing. Becoming single is a whole other. In the case of the former, you will most likely be badgered by cabals of “concerneds” eager to convince you that the only way to happiness is by welding your wagon to another’s for posterity. While they may be annoying and exasperating, at least they’re operating out of love, looking out for your best interest, even if only in their own misguided way.