How You Argue Could Be Undermining Your Relationship

Whether you scream, sob or shut down, how you argue could be undermining your relationship.

- Danielle Blundell

ARE YOU PASSIONATE? IF SO, THE SAME FIRE YOU BRING TO the bedroom could backfire when you fight with your lover. “It’s the way we deal with anger that becomes the issue,” says Gloria Rodriguez, a Puerto Rican life coach and psychology professor at Bronx Community College. “When we get angry at another person, it’s never just about the other person. It’s about us and how our anger is triggering an older hurt [caused by someone in our past] that’s much more tender and fragile.” This is true for both parties to the argument—especially when one side tries to heap blame on the other. Once you recognize this, you can begin to take control of your actions for the beer—using these coping tips that correspond to your communication style.

THE SHORT FUSE