How To Say Sorry

The reasons to apologise may be many, but there are only two words that can express it best: “I am sorry”. Keep it short and simple. If you go on too long you’re likely to offer explanations that are really excuses, or criticisms that undo the sincerity of your apology

Apology Faux Pas

Owning up to our mistakes is probably the best way to end things on a positive note. On the other hand, a badly delivered apology can make matters worse, not better

“I ’m sorry”, are two of the most powerful words you may ever utter in your life. They’re also often the hardest to say – and when you do say them, it’s way too easy to get them all wrong.

The secret to a good apology is a topic US relationship expert Dr Harriet Lerner knows all about. For her best-selling new book, Why Won’t You Apologize? Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts, she studied the fine art of saying “I’m sorry”, for two decades.

“A good apology makes the hurt party feel safe and soothed in the relationship and restores connection and trust,” says Dr Lerner. “In contrast, an absent or bad apology can put a crack in the very foundation of a relationship or even end it.”

Here, she shares her tips on how to make your apology sincere instead of a “sorry, not sorry” disaster.

Keep it short and simple

If you go on too long you’re likely to offer explanations that are really excuses, or criticisms that undo the sincerity of your apology.

Never use the words “if” or “but”