Pandemic has left you numb? It may be your way of coping

To help readers cope with their anxieties in these stressful times, TOI has launched Talk it Out, a series under which our panel of expert counsellors will answer your mental health queries. This week’s advice is from psychologist Varkha Chulani

- Varkha Chulani

I am a teenager from Bhopal. After the demise of my grandfather in the second wave, I have been very sad and dissatisfied. I have no friends or cousins to talk with. Earlier I was an extrovert, but now I just want to be alone and to have no communication with the outside world. Please help me understand why I am feeling this way and how to overcome this.

— Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. What you are experiencing is grief. It is healthy for us to mourn and grieve for the loss of our loved ones. It not only indicates an emotional connection you had with the grandparent you lost, but also reveals that you are allowing emotional expression. One can grieve for the rest of one’s life without it ever becoming a depression. Having a purpose to get back to will allow you to cope with this phase. Ask yourself what you would like to do to make your grandfather proud. Directing your mind towards a goal will prevent moping. One can grieve and yet continue to live life. Many of us worry that if we carry on with life somehow, we will forget the deceased. Nothing is further from the truth. Grief and living can go hand in hand.

During the pandemic, I have realised I don’t feel anything anymore. Sometimes I feel very empty inside. Is it a sign of maturity or am I losing myself? Please help.

— Anonymous