Lost In Translation

If you find yourself wishing to be two again and starting your life over, all you really need to do is visit a foreign country and ask for directions to the bathroom in the local language as you struggle for bladder control, while a helpful stranger painstakingly corrects your pronunciation. “No, no, ser-VI-cio…” 

- Shivani Tibrewala

Ever racked your brain for words in a language you speak fluently? Now imagine fumbling for words in a language where each piece of furniture has its own gender, where you can choose the degree of respect you want to show another person with your choice of pronoun, which has strange phrases that make you wonder how they came into being... Take for example, ‘tiene mala leche’ in Spanish, which means ‘has bad milk.’ Apparently, it is used to describe someone who has bad intentions.

When I was a college student, I did a semester in Spain, for which I had prepared by studying Spanish for two years till I was declared ‘More Than Proficient.’ On landing at the Madrid airport, I wondered why the announcements were being made in Swahili. Somehow, I found my luggage and made my way to a lovely local restaurant where all students from the study abroad programme were meeting for the first time.

After a careful and somewhat disappointing perusal of the menu, I informed the waiter that I was a vegetarian.

“What’s that?”

This was not a good sign. I had been warned that Spaniards love their meat but this unfamiliarity with the concept of vegetarianism altogether was a little disconcerting.

“No como carne.”

“Oh, no problem. I get you beautiful Jamón de York.Es delicioso.”

“No no… Jamón is ham.”

“But this is Jamón de York!”