Postcards And Alligators

In the crazy world of showbiz, anything can happen… or not!

- Jean Buchanan

I work in the film industry. When I mention this, people tend to assume that my job consists of vast amounts of glamour, huge earnings, and a leisurely working day spent rubbing shoulders with world-famous screen stars.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I occupy an extremely junior position, slightly lower on the scale than invisible. I am an assistant assistant’s general assistant, or, as my snooty big sister insists on putting it, the film world’s equivalent of a skivvy.

To be fair, I should mention that it is allegedly a job with prospects – or at least that was what they told me at the interview.

I foolishly repeated this to my sister, who snorted with disbelief and made unflattering comparisons with rowing boats which their owners refer to as yachts, and then added, for good measure, “The trouble with you, Katie, is that you’ll believe anything. You’re twenty-six – do grow up!”

I suppose that is one of the things that big sisters are for.

Still, I do like the job. I’m learning all the time, and no two days are the same. I meet lots of interesting people, a few immensely tedious people, and the occasional famous person.

As I move from project to project, I feel that I’m making definite progress, insofar as anyone who fetches, carries, answers the phone, takes messages and orders sandwiches can be said to be making progress.

I keep a diary, written with a fountain pen on thick cream paper, to record my progress. Usually it reads along the lines of Today I got everyone’s orders of sandwiches right, and remembered the right brand of sweetener for the herb tea which [insert name of semi-famous actress] wanted. She did not thank me.