How I Live... Child Of Change My Son's Transgender Story

Dee Smith (50) Tells How She Navigated the Life-changing Transition When Her Daughter Became Her Son.

- Lynley Ward

Hunter was born a beautiful wee girl and loved playing outside with my father. He had logging trucks, and loved being around granddad and going out on the farm. Hunter was always playing with boys’ toys or on his scooter and bike. He was my tomboy.

I didn’t realise Hunter didn’t want to continue as a girl. A lot of people don’t believe me when I say that. They say, ‘How could you not know?’ And I say, ‘I was a tomboy, so why would I think anything different?’ I didn’t know anything about transgender. He came out as lesbian in his high school years.

He left school in Rotorua, moving to Auckland and getting a job at Ellerslie Racecourse. I knew he wasn’t himself, but I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong.

Of course, as a mother I was worried he had moved away in a split second, so whether he was running away or trying to get away from these feelings I don’t know...

He ended up there for about nine months but kept contacting me all the time. When Hunter’s going backwards, he does that [contacts me a lot]. He kept saying, ‘I can’t get out of bed, I’m not going to work, I’m not sleeping well,’ and they just sent triggers to me because I know what it’s like to get depressed.