‘Mummy, What's Porn?'

This was the dreaded question that Samantha Simmonds was asked by her 10-year-old. Here she explains how she answeredÉ

- Samantha Simmonds

We were having a leisurely lunch with another family when my 10-year-old son, Rafi, yelled across the table, ‘Mummy, what’s porn?’

Silence descended on the busy restaurant as I froze in horror, a chip falling off my fork. I glared at Rafi, willing him not to say that four-letter word again. He looked puzzled, with no clue what was wrong, but he didn’t repeat the question.

Someone coughed and then everyone quickly returned to their conversations.

I turned to my husband, Phill, and hissed, ‘I can’t believe he’s just decided to ask me what porn is. And in public!’

We exchanged worried looks as we realised our son’s innocence was in jeopardy at a ridiculously young age.

Innocence under fire

We hadn’t even considered having this conversation yet – he was far too little. But, when we got home Phill and I googled ‘how to talk to your kids about porn’. Along with terrifying warnings and charity helpline numbers, we were directed to a few articles that revealed children are commonly accessing pornography from as young as eight.

This month, new laws came in aimed at blocking under-18s from pornographic websites by requiring users to supply ID. However, when grim material can be shared so easily between children on their phone messaging apps, these changes will only tackle the tip of the iceberg.

It was a crash course in the reality of 21st-century sexuality. We tried to memorise various experts’ tips so that we’d be ready when the question inevitably resurfaced.

Embarrassing as it might be, we had to be honest and treat Rafi with a certain level of maturity. If not, he would only end up googling it himself – and come up with far worse explanations.