‘Theo Will Always Be Part Of Our Family'

Eight years on, Amanda Holden opens up about her tragic stillbirth – and why she’ll never stop thinking about her son

- Hayley Minn

She may be caught up in a media storm, but away from the flying accusations between camp Schofield and camp Holden, Amanda is painting on a smile. Regardless of the media furore, she comes across as one of the most bubbly, upbeat people in the public eye, whether it’s judging Britain’s Got Talent or co-presenting the Heart Breakfast radio show. But Amanda, 48, has now opened up on the heartbreak and grief she feels after suffering a stillbirth and losing her baby son, Theo, eight years ago.

On Tuesday, 1 February 2011, 28 weeks into her pregnancy, Amanda noticed that she hadn’t felt her baby kicking for a while. She had a bath and a coffee but there was still no movement, so she drove to hospital for a scan to reassure herself. It was there she was told, ‘The baby’s heart is not beating. He’s gone.’

Speaking about the horrific moment, she said, ‘I just remember hearing this woman screaming and screaming and then it was actually — it was me, I realised it was me that was screaming.