'My World Turned Upside Down'

Shock. Anger. Sadness. Jennifer Ashton, M.D., felt it all after her ex-husband died by suicide. Her new book offers other survivors a beacon of hope.

On February 11, 2017, Jennifer Ashton, M.D., now ABC’s chief medical correspondent and health editor, learned that her ex-husband, Rob Ashton, M.D., also a New York City doctor and the father of her two teenage children, had died by suicide. In the wake of Rob’s death, Dr. Ashton had a decision to make: disintegrate into a ball of anger and grief or step into the light of hope and love.

In her new book, Life After Suicide, Dr. Ashton talks about the highs and lows of the past two years, including the friends she lost and found, her deepening admiration for her children, and the ways in which survivors of suicide should band together.

Here, in an interview with Woman’s Day, she offers new thoughts on going forward for anyone touched by loss.

When talking to someone who has lost a loved one, be mindful of the power of your words.

What I appreciated most, especially during the first weeks and months after Rob’s death, were the friends who didn’t just say, “Do you need anything?” That’s such a difficult question to answer when you can hardly think straight. Instead, they said, “Do you want to go to dinner next week?” It was a specific question, and they made it easier for me to say yes.

It also helps to be reminded by those in your inner circle that you’re not to blame for the suicide. The first thing my brother said to me when he came to my apartment on the day Rob died was “Jen, it’s not your fault.” I knew that rationally, but emotionally it has been hard for me to get there.