Overcoming Shyness

Teens who rate themselves as shy tend to like themselves less, consider themselves less friendly and more passive than their non-shy peers. Shy teens are often judged by peers to be less friendly and likeable than non-shy people. For all these reasons, shy teens may be ignored by peers and have less chances of developing social skills.

- GRATIAN VAS

Shyness is felt as a mix of emotions, including fear and interest, tension and pleasantness. It affects how you feel and behave when you are with others. It can mean feeling uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid or insecure. When you feel shy you may sometimes also experience physical sensations like blushing, feeling speechless, breathless and shaky. Shyness is opposite of being at ease. When you feel shy you might hesitate to say or do something because you feel unsure of yourself and you are not ready to be noticed.

If you were shy when you were younger, the pressures of adolescence may make you withdraw even more. Even if you were a confident, outgoing, gregarious and jolly child, always surrounded by friends, you may now find yourself blushing, stammering and unable to look at anybody in the eyes, and even without friends.

There are several factors responsible for this change in teens. Weighing on your mind are such issues like physical and emotional changes, school grades, response to members of the opposite sex and the big question of what you are going to do with your life.

The sudden self-consciousness you experience is the result of what experts call, “imaginary audience”. You feel as though everyone is watching you. That makes you acutely aware of your actions, expressions and appearance. You just withdraw to allow yourself to think about all the things that are happening to you, from school performance and academic expectations, peer pressure to relationships.

This is generally a passing phase when you might want to lock yourself in your room away from people. You might become extremely anxious about making new friends or participating in new activities — anything that puts you in the spotlight.