GOLDEN BACHELOR'S HOUSE OF CARDS!

GOLDEN Bachelor Gerry Turner and his bachelorette Theresa Nist tied the knot in a glitzy Jan. 4 TV ceremony — yet three months later, the honeymooners were still in a long-kiss-dance relationship.

As GLOBE reported last issue, sources dish the 72-year-old hunk and his 70-year-old bride aren’t sharing the same bed — or even living in the same house or state!

Gerry was holed up at his Indiana lake house while Theresa was back in New Jersey working at her gig at TFS, a financial services company.

Is this a surprise? Maybe to the millions of fans of TV’s Bachelor franchise, who like to live in a fairytale bubble believing the nonsense spewed by these supposedly truthful reality shows.

But to anyone who is living in real reality, this farce is par for the course.