Coaching in Choose life in action

Since her adult son cut her out of his life a year ago, my client Pat had been trying to manage a complex mix of feelings: self-blame, grief, and despair. Each time we met, it seemed that she had taken one step forward and one step back.

The final final session

It was distressing to witness Pat's pain, but I had to remind myself that I don't have a magic wand. A coach's role is not about fixing everything for our clients (some things are not fixable!); it is about creating in our clients a sense of mobility and self-efficacy.

Over the past 12 months, I had helped Pat to develop some self-care and survival strategies, so that she could continue to find happiness, friendship, and purpose in her life.

We had written scripts toge the so that Pat had ready responses to the inevitable questions from well-meaning others: 'Do you have children/grandchildren?', 'Are you seeing your family for Christmas?" 

I had listened, questioned, and coached Pat when she agonised over whether to call, text, write or send gifts to her son.