Time to tell

Thousands of Kiwis have been conceived through sperm or egg donations. Some are now fighting for the right to know their donor's name.

- CHRIS COOKE

For decades, humans have debated whether nature or nurture is the key to unlocking our personal identities. The answer, it seems, is both. But imagine what it must feel like to have that answer turned back into a question. To discover that your one of your parents is not genetically related to you; that your physical features and personality traits have an entirely different foundation; that you were conceived from the sperm or egg of a mystery donor.

Until the late 1980s, it was believed that such donations should be kept secret. Because record-keeping was so poor, there is no way of knowing just how many children were conceived this way. But some parents ignored this advice, and their children are now demanding the veil be lifted.

They want a law change that would strip away donor anonymity, and it's a change Minister of Health Andrew Little appears to be keen to pursue.

As more people discover their genetic origins through websites such as Ancestry.com, the message to parents who have not yet been open with their children is clear it's time to tell.

UNCANNY LIKENESS

Rebecca Hamilton was told from an early age that she was donor-conceived.

"I never went through the trauma of it being news to me," she says. And as it happened, her much-loved dad, a restaurateur, died when she was just nine. "I would have been devastated if I'd found out we had no biological connection after he died. I'll be forever grateful."

Hamilton left school at 15 to become a ballet dancer, then worked as a journalist overseas before earning a scholarship to Harvard University in the US. She's now a professor of law at American University in Washington.