The horror of not ageing

Every morning, I look in the mirror and begin E to pullfaces I strew up to pull faces at myself. I screw up my mouth like a mouse about 10 times.

- NAMRATA ZAKARIA

Then I yank my cheeks up to my ear. I also take my tongue and roll it in the inside of my mouth several times. I pull up my forehead until it hurts and stretch my under-eye skin until I bruise it. This new form of self-torture is called face yoga, and frankly my dears, it feels ridiculous.

But every beauty beast on Instagram swears by it. If you don't want to get Botox or fillers, don't. Here's another way of looking stupid.

The means and methods to combat ageing are really where every pharmaceutical company in this world is focused. They have not found a cure for cancer, or the common cold. But they insist that every product from their stable-either an injectable, or a serum, or an ingestible tablet-can make you younger. As if.