Life without wine: can I really cope for 31 of the bleakest nights?

NEW YEAR, new me, apparently. My usual take on Dry January is that it's codswallop warranted rarely is a drink more than during the bleakest 31 nights of the year.

- David Ellis

But curiously, I've had a change of heart. I suspect the cosmic quantity of Armagnac on NYE had something to do with it. Either way, for now I'm off the sauce. Two days already, look at me go.

This month, then, I'll be propping up the bars where the booze has been taken away, a picture of perfect health, and likely insufferably smug to boot.

The monastery will be on the phone in no time. Guinness 0.0 is the obvious go-to. In isolation, it tastes fraudulent, but put away in the pub and it's near enough the real thing. The Lucky Saint (58 Devonshire Street, W1W, luckysaint co), where there's a mix of full-fat beer and those without the poison, is as good a place as any other for it.