Farewell then, David Coote. You were the one who looks a bit like a hungover version of Ross from Friends. Let's take a look at your best bits. Not sending off Jordan Pickford for an attempted amputation at Goodison Park. Not sending off Fabinho for performing on-spec Achilles keyhole surgery on Evan Ferguson at the Amex.
Plus, of course, the decision to let yourself be filmed propped up on a sofa, saying all the bad stuff out loud, and in the process completing the amazing character arc of the English football referee, from taciturn northern master butcher, to the current crop of beleaguered full-time reality TV stars.
At this point you really do have to hand it to English football. It just keeps on coming up with the most incredible content to fill the holes in an increasingly samey product.
Yesterday's Sky Sports coverage of Coote-Klopp-Cunt, the morning after, was utterly gripping, the entire story presented with a surreal air of appalled solemnity, as though reporting on the breaking news that Father Christmas has been found naked under a pile of cocaine holding the gun that killed Bobby Kennedy.
This mainly involved replaying the footage with key parts tastefully bleeped out, while the two presenters sat ashen-faced at their studio coffee table like community police officers whose job it is to turn up on your doorstep and tell you your dog has been run over. From there it was a huge relief to cut to a consolatory Dermot Gallagher sitting in front of a Welsh dresser, incredibly wholesome content in the circumstances, and a first sign that nature might just be healing itself.
Perhaps PGMOL should turn this whole cycle into a regular post-match feature: shit-talking late-night videos of a glassy-eyed referee explaining the weekend's big calls by insulting people on a sofa, which would at least be more interesting than Michael Owen agreeing with Howard Webb.
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة November 13, 2024 من The Guardian.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 9,000 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك ? تسجيل الدخول
هذه القصة مأخوذة من طبعة November 13, 2024 من The Guardian.
ابدأ النسخة التجريبية المجانية من Magzter GOLD لمدة 7 أيام للوصول إلى آلاف القصص المتميزة المنسقة وأكثر من 9,000 مجلة وصحيفة.
بالفعل مشترك? تسجيل الدخول
New year refresh A month-by-month guide to sorting out your finances
Rupert Jones and Hilary Osborne offer a checklist of the vital tasks you need to tackle throughout the year, from filing your tax return to making the most of your holiday cash
Lost in music How Britain's clubs are disappearing fast - and why they are worth rescuing
When the patrons of Watford's Przym nightclub celebrated New Year's Eve a year ago, they were marking the end of an era - or rather, seven eras.
Nissan shares down 15% as investors react to plan for merger
Shares in the Japanese carmaker Nissan have taken their biggest fall since August's stock market sell-off, as investors turned their attention to the company's planned tie-up with domestic rivals Honda and Mitsubishi.
Climbing out of trouble? Rise in share price suggests BA's turbulent days may be over
It's been a long and turbulent time since anyone used British Airways' old slogan \"the world's favourite airline\" with a straight face.
North-south divide flips as EU's periphery beats core economies
The European Central Bank is facing a tough balancing act in 2025, trying to navigate a reversal of fortunes in eurozone economies as the hardest-hit nations of the 2010s debt crisis outperform the traditional core.
Number of retailers on the brink of collapse up by 25%
Footfall levels up 18% on Christmas Eve compared with last year.
London-listed mining company halts operations in Mozambique
The London-listed mining company Gemfields said yesterday it had temporarily halted its ruby mining operation in Mozambique after groups \"took advantage\" of political unrest to attempt to invade and set fire to its site, resulting in two deaths.
Aid convoy reaches besieged area of Sudanese capital
An aid convoy has reached a besieged area of Khartoum for the first time since Sudan's civil war broke out in April 2023, bringing food and medicines in a country where half of the people are at risk of starvation.
Mexico The mayor who turned wasteland into a utopia
Mexico City's mayor, Clara Brugada, has never been afraid to court controversy and has taken some imaginative steps in her efforts to undo decades of economic and cultural inequality.
Crisis on cat island On Aoshima, is time finally running out for human and feline inhabitants?
The reason for Aoshima's nickname is clear before we set foot on the island.
