Coping with LONELINESS

Singaporeans are braving the post-pandemic persistence of loneliness by making Al friends, hanging out with strangers or simply making peace with solitude

- Cherie Lok

For the longest time, 43-year-old Eric Feng did not consider himself a lonely person.

How could he be lonely when he was never alone? As a professional and speaker self-proclaimed extrovert, he was always in front of a crowd, always on the move, always meeting new people.

Yet, when Covid-19 grounded him in Singapore, the realisation hit him like a truck. Stuck at home with no one to talk to, he felt a part of his identity shatter.

"Because of the nature of my job, I wasn't in Singapore a lot, which meant I didn't really have the time to build deep friendships. I had a lot of acquaintances, but didn't have anyone I could talk to about my problems," says the bachelor.

"When we were allowed to meet in groups of four or five, I thought to myself, 'Oh no, who are my four close friends? Do I even have four?"" Mr Feng describes this encroaching sense of loneliness as "very unsettling". He had his first panic attack while being quarantined and started to feel disconnected from the rest of the world.

For many Singaporeans like Mr Feng, the pandemic was a time of reckoning. And even though the country has moved past that period of mandatory isolation, the scars linger.

"This persistence of loneliness post-Covid-19 could be due to several factors, such as altered interaction patterns in school or the workplace, including the increased prevalence of virtual or remote interactions," says Dr Wong Chin Yi.

The research fellow at the Institute of Policy Studies (IPS) Social Lab studies social mobility, well-being and inclusivity.

People are also becoming more aware of the different types of loneliness after the Covid-19 period shone the spotlight on mental health conditions.

Beyond physical isolation, one might also feel emotionally detached - that is, unseen, unappreciated or misunderstood - despite being surrounded by people.