Not alone but still lonely? Be your own best friend

To help readers cope with their anxieties in these stressful times, TOI has launched Talk it Out, a series in which expert counsellors answer your mental health queries. This week’s advice is from psychologist Anaita Veigas

- Anaita Veigas

I feel that responsibility fell on my shoulders at a very early age. I look after everyone but no one cares for me. No one even asks about my life. I feel lonely and depressed as I have no one around with whom I can share my feelings? What should I do? — Anonymous

We often tend to neglect ourselves when we become the primary caregivers to others. One of the ways you can feel loved is by becoming your own best friend and being compassionate towards yourself. There’s no other person in the whole universe who can comfort you the way that you’d want to be comforted except for you. It is best to learn to self-soothe by doing activities that bring you joy and peace. Paint, dance, write, watch a movie and give yourself a hug. Ask yourself: ‘How can I best support myself now?’ ‘What can I do to help myself now?’ and find solutions. Take frequent breaks to gather your energy and rewind. Whenever you feel burdened by the thoughts in your mind and wish to talk to someone, you could write about these thoughts. It’s okay to feel sad at times. You can become aware of the feeling and then move to soothe yourself in the ways that you can. Wishing you the best!