Suffering from social anxiety? Try making a list of things you're good at

To help readers cope with their anxieties in these stressful times, TOI has launched Talk it Out, a series in which expert counsellors answer your mental health queries. This week's advice is from psychologist Dr Hansika Kapoor

- Dr Hansika Kapoor

I am almost 16. I’ve faced a lot of problems in my life, including being sexually harassed and the inability to make friends since childhood. These have changed my behaviour a lot. I have social anxiety and an inferiority complex. No one tries to understand my situation. Please suggest a way to overcome my sadness and anxiety and make good friends.  — Anonymous

Sexual harassment can influence behaviour in the long term, especially if the experience remains unresolved. I recommend consulting a mental health professional to help you cope with these experiences and limit their spill-over into your present life. Social anxiety and an inability to connect with peers can also arise from concerns regarding judgement and approval from others. Start by listing things that you’re good at or your qualities. I know that often you may be unable to see these qualities yourself, so asking a family member or a friend you trust to help you with this exercise can be useful. It is also important to reflect on how you judge yourself — is it harshly or negatively? Do you criticise yourself for small errors? Can you practise being kinder to yourself? You can also start out with exploring social situations with a small group of familiar individuals which do not trigger as much anxiety and then work your way up from there.