OUTSMART STRESS WITH THE TRUE YOU!

Experts explain how to know, appreciate and respond to life as your authentic self-and unleash the joy that springs from embracing all of who you are

- KRISTINA MASTROCOLA

When your friend asks your opinion about her tumultuous on-again, offagain relationship-which you wish for her sake was permanently off-you bite your tongue because you don't want to hurt her feelings. And as soon as your neighbor recruits you to babysit at the last minute, despite knowing you have weekend plans, you plaster on a smile and tell her it's no problem. While suppressing your true feelings seems better for everyone in the moment, consistently censoring yourself chips away at your identity and sinks your self-esteem.

"Authenticity means being our true self, or the experience of showing on the outside what we think, feel and want on the inside," explains Christopher Hopwood, Ph.D., Professor of Personality Psychology at the University of Zurich. "Research shows this feeling is associated with better physical and mental health, deeper connections, positive emotions and lower stress."

Dropping the facade we all use to defend ourselves against the fear of being judged or criticized means cultivating a unique type of inner strength, reveals Kennon M. Sheldon, Ph.D., author of Freely Determined: What the New Psychology of the Self Teaches Us About How to Live. "Being authentic involves the desire to learn and be aware of who we really are-and that requires considerable existential courage," or the willingness to look within and ask ourselves challenging questions about our deepest values. Indeed, the more reflective we become, the more likely we are to surprise ourselves with our true depths.

"THE GREATEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE OTHERS IS OUR MOST AUTHENTIC SELVES"