The spirit of CHRISTMAS

Whatever situation you find yourself in these holidays, from juggling family expectations to spending time alone, our experts show how to find festive joy

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Christmas can be the most wonderful time of the year, for some. But for others, the decision on how and where to spend Christmas can be fraught with difficult family dynamics, cost-of-living-fuelled anxiety or feelings of overwhelming sadness to be spending the day alone. It can be a tricky path to navigate, and therapist and author Jana Firestone says the key is to be clear about what a joyful holiday period looks and feels like for you. “If the current traditions aren’t working for you, try something new,” says Jana. “Is there a way to celebrate that takes the pressure off and creates new and positive memories?”

A fair split

“If you’re juggling different events, discuss how it can be managed well ahead of the time,” advises clinical psychologist Elisabeth Shaw. “By doing good preparation and working out a game plan, you can get expectations down to a reasonable level. Some disappointment will probably be part of the deal, such as leaving an event early to get to another one, or even missing something every second year.”

If both sides of the family are local, spending Christmas Eve with one side, then Christmas Day with the other is a decent compromise, but can still be fraught with angst if you are battling expectations. “If your view is shaped by the fear of getting into trouble with your family, then your partner could well resent that,” says Elisabeth. “It’s better to work through those feelings to a place where you can own and assert your own preferences.”

Lower expectations