MY FURY AT BEING A GRAN AT 52

Shona Sibary was far from excited when her eldest daughter welcomed her first child

- SHONA SIBARY

A little more than a year ago, my eldest daughter Flo, 24, announced she was pregnant and planned to have the baby, despite being in a new relationship and having nowhere of her own to live. ‘Is there ever a right time, Mum?’ she said.

We were on a dog walk and it was pouring with rain. We ended up screaming at each other under a tree, with Flo telling me I knew nothing about her life and that everything was going to be OK. As I walked away shaking and feeling furious, I tried to pin down exactly what it was that bothered me most about the situation.

Was it the fact she was only 24? My grandmother was 24 when she had my mother, and my mother was 24 when she had me. Neither had started careers at that point – although, unlike Flo, they were both married. Or was it the fact that she was throwing away an expensive private school education and all the opportunities a privileged background had bought her, for the limiting shackles of motherhood?

Actually, it was none of the above. It took me several weeks to precisely pinpoint what was truly bugging me about my daughter’s burgeoning belly, and when I finally did, I’m not sure it reflected well on me. For what I most hated about it was the prospect of becoming a grandmother before my time, at just 52 years old.

STILL MOTHERING