'HOW WE MAKE OUR MARRIAGE WORK'

The expert reveals how he and his Kiwi wife Kelly Swanson-Roe keep their relationship fresh

- Hayley McLarin

We're nearly at the end of the 10th W season of Married At First Sight Australia, but so far, there have been only four lasting pairings in the decade-long experiment. Reflecting on this success rate, relationships expert John Aiken questions whether participants really are prepared to change to find true love.

"We hope they really will find the fairy tale," the 52-year-old tells Woman's Day of how the show's experts approach the cast. "When we meet them, we see fairly quickly why they're single and that they're showing certain behaviours that hold them back. They sabotage themselves without knowing it.

"And a number of them have very strict criteria. As soon as they see somebody who may not be what they wanted or ordered, they will rule them out immediately. They say, 'I'm ready for commitment, but then they don't change to find love."

This year, more than ever, John has had a no-nonsense approach on the Three show. "A number of the participants have never really been held to account. So of them have never been told home truths. That's the real role that we've leaned into and now it's become a big part of the show."

The behaviour he simply can't tolerate is when participants use words as weapons.

"Words are very powerful and you need to choose them carefully," he says. "How they land can be very challenging on a person's feelings and self-esteem. This whole idea of 'speaking my truth' doesn't mean you're allowed to be disrespectful.