The Art Of Acceptance

Psychologist ANNIE GURTON explains how to cope when you learn your kids won’t be having children of their own

- Morgon Reardon, Cameron Kirby

For many, being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest joys. But what happens when you don’t get that opportunity? Whether your children choose not to have kids or they’re medically unable to, this can have a huge and potentially devastating impact on would-be grandparents.

Psychological therapist Annie Gurton says it’s OK to feel disappointed. “It’s very natural to want grandchildren and to feel deeply hurt if you’ve been deprived of having them,” she says.

Here, we look at how to best handle this topic with care.

IF THEY DON’T WANT KIDS

Hearing your child doesn’t want to have children can be a shocking blow. While you may feel disappointed and sad, it’s best to keep those emotions to yourself initially.

“You might be tempted to argue, plead, maybe even to try to manipulate them with a bit of passive-aggressive reasoning, but at the end of the day it’s your child’s choice,” says Annie. Bear in mind this isn’t a decision made lightly, so criticising their reasoning behind it could be insulting.