Kevin the Fish

The goldfish was the best starter pet – or practice child as they liked to call him

- JACQUI COOPER

KATIE was always home from work first so she usually made dinner.

Today her partner, Danny, arrived half an hour later, hiding something behind his back and with a huge smile on his face.

“What have you got there?” asked Katie, picking up on his excitement.

Slowly, and with great drama, Danny produced a goldfish.

The tiny fish swam around in a knotted plastic bag filled with water.

“Meet Kevin,” Danny said proudly. “I hope you don’t mind me naming him without discussing it with you first. He looks like a Kevin don’t you think?”

“I don’t mind you naming him,” Katie said slowly, staring at the fish. “But . . . erm . . . why do you have a goldfish?”

“Well you know the other day we discussed taking our relationship to a new level . . .”

She nodded.

“And we thought a pet might seal our commitment but we agreed we couldn’t have a dog since we’re both out at work all day. And you’re allergic to cats . .”

“So you got a fish?” she asked.

He beamed.

“Consider Kevin here a practice run, a way for us to prove just how responsible we are before we have kids . . .” he stopped abruptly, realising what he had said.

“K . . . kids?” Katie’s eyes goggled, much like Kevin’s.

“I know I’m getting ahead of myself,” he said quickly. “But I thought, first a fish, then a budgie, then a rabbit maybe, then who knows.”

His eyes twinkled as he sang, “It started with a fish . . .”

Katie laughed. “You are crazy.”