VR Porn Is Ready For Its Money Shot* But Are You?

In the next 18 months, virtual reality headsets will change the way your partner – and you – have sex (as well as the people you have it with). Joe Madden pops one on for size.

- Joe Madden

Sitting in a white-walled villa, I look down at ‘my’ body. I am perched on a metal chair and am (rather unusually for me) wearing a white T-shirt and black trousers. Stranger still is that kneeling in front of me is a beautiful nun. She looks up and catches my gaze. Then she starts to talk in breathy, lusty tones. She says something about wanting to confess “impure thoughts” to me, before explaining how she wants to make amends for them. She reaches out. I watch her unzip my black trousers, pop out ‘my’ erection and then starts… well, you know what. “Am I doing it right? I hope I’m good enough for you...”

I’ve never harboured a nun fetish, but I’m soon feeling the familiar, heavy buzz of arousal. This has got to stop.

I pull off the headset that has transported me into this most surreal of scenarios, one I’m embarrassingly helpless to resist, and, bam, I’m back in a sun-soaked, coastal-view apartment on the outskirts of Barcelona. Just minutes before, a man called Xavi Clos, from local porn-production company BaDoink, lowered a Samsung Gear virtual reality (VR) headset onto me. He’d grinned, like he was about to blow my mind – which is exactly what he did.

Now, a few feet away, he’s chuckling. I couldn’t physically feel the blow job, obviously, but the sights and sounds were so real that I had to stop before things got out of hand.

I’m ricocheting between feeling amazed, amused, disturbed and more than a little guilty. I have a long-term girlfriend back in the UK – did I, uh, just sort of cheat on her? Because that went way beyond the passive experience of consuming porn – it was intimate, interactive, immersive, and I was a central, active part of it.