How To Handle Criticism

Do you take negative feedback badly? Look at it differently and it could be an opportunity to grow

- Angela Barrett

Ouch! it can really hurt when someone finds fault with you or your performance. Whether it’s a friend letting you know your new hair colour doesn’t suit you or your manager sending a project back for reworking, it’s really important to remember that criticism is not necessarily an attack on you.

‘Constructive criticism can be a pathway to personal growth and improvement,’ says psychologist Elizabeth Neal. Some of us are super-sensitive to criticism and we can quickly dissolve into tears, anger or feelings of inadequacy. And while these reactions are fairly common, none of them are particularly productive. So how can we learn to handle criticism in a more positive way?

Respond calmly

Use a simple response to acknowledge that you have heard their opinion. Try, ‘Thank you for the feedback. I’ll take that on board,’ or ‘OK, I’ll consider that.’

But if you have an emotional, heart thumping reaction to what’s been said, your brain has gone into ‘fight or flight’ mode. Don’t respond while you’re in this primed state. ‘Take a few minutes out, feel your feet on the ground, and breathe slowly and deeply until you feel more calm,’ says wellness coach Trish Everett. ‘When you breathe in a relaxed way, your heart rate and stress response will come down so you can re-engage your rational brain before you respond.’

Don’t take it personally

Whether the criticism is constructive or just rude, don’t take it as a personal affront. ‘It’s particularly important in a professional setting to be able to receive criticism or not-so-great feedback about your work without taking it personally,’ says Elizabeth.