Taming The Tantrums

Why do kids have tantrums, and how can we stop them? CHRIS HART has the magic formula.

- Chris Hart

Tantrums come in all shapes and sizes. And they are never a pretty sight: spectacular explosions of anger, tears, screaming, stiff limbs, arched back, kicking, falling down, pounding the floor, flailing about or running away. Some children even vomit, throw or break things, get aggressive, or hold their breath until they start to turn blue. All very hard to handle. But even breath holding is actually normal during a tantrum.

Tiny infants cry to let you know when they’re hungry, wet, or want attention. But toddlers throw tantrums. Especially when they are tired, hungry or overexcited. Mostly because they get frustrated very easily, have difficulty expressing themselves and have very poor coping skills. So they tend to lose it instead. Tantrums are so common they’re practically normal – especially between the ages of 18 months to three years. However, they can start as early as 12 months and occasionally last until five years or even older.

As a parent when this happens, you feel angry, helpless and embarrassed, because tantrums can be impossible to manage. But there are things you can do to minimise them. It all boils down to creating structure in your family life, picking the right things to fight about, ignoring bad behavior, and reinforcing the good.

RULES AND ROUTINE RULE

Start by setting a few simple rules around the house and sticking to them. And creating a basic daily routine, so everyone knows what to expect. Predictable meal times and the like are very important to children.

Watch for situations where your child tends to lose his cool. When kids are hungry or tired, they have zero tolerance for any little disappointment that crops up. So don’t try to get stuff done when you know it’s past their nap time.

FIND THE CAUSE