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Most parents do not have, or take the time to think about what children need to learn in order to become successful adults. For kids to transition well into adulthood, there are things they need to learn from you.

- Chris Hart

Kids are hugely influenced by their peers. Think about their fashion ideas, and tastes in music, for example. But there are many things that are far too important to be left to their friends. So deliberately teach them the things that have made you successful. Mostly, that will be by showing them, rather than by telling them, so it’s not as big a responsibility as it sounds!

Let them see you love your spouse and how your family is always your first priority. Then they’ll know the value of family and how a good marriage works.

Teach them to do things for themselves. From tying shoelaces to cooking a meal. And once you’ve taught them something new, resist the urge to jump in whenever you see them struggling to do it. Allowing them to learn from their difficulties will help them become more capable and resilient.

Teach them to communicate well. Teach them to talk to adults, and especially strangers. For example shop assistants and waiters and how to look people in the eye, and communicate clearly. They need to be socially confident. There’s no good excuse for bringing up shy kids.

Teach them to listen and listen to them. Teach them the right way to communicate frustration or disagreement. Let them see you respectfully disagreeing with friends, or your spouse!

Teach them good manners. To make good eye contact, to say ‘please,’ ‘thank you,’ and to give a firm handshake and acknowledge mistakes with ‘I’m sorry.’ Society may be becoming more laid back, but manners are still important and they will give your children a big advantage when they grow up.

Teach your children to be assertive. Coach them with the appropriate words, while encouraging them to stand up for themselves. It will pay dividends. Assertive adults are more likely to use birth control effectively, deal with harassment, and won’t end a relationship via a text message!