Parental Guidance

NEW DAD MATT MAYNARD FEARED FOR HIS FITNESS WHEN HIS FIRST CHILD CAME ALONG. SLEEP DEPRIVED, TIME POOR AND JUST A NAPPY CHANGE AWAY FROM A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN CONSPIRE TO MAKE FAR FROM IDEAL CONDITIONS FOR EXERCISE. YET WITH A FEW TWEAKS AND MORE THAN A FEW DOUBLE ESPRESSOS, HE’S FOUND THAT FITNESS AND FATHERHOOD ISN’T SO INCOMPATIBLE AFTER ALL

The test showed a double red stripe. It was positive. In a little less than 270 days I was to begin the biggest endurance event I had ever entered, setting out on the ultra-distance challenges of fatherhood. With my pregnancy test ticket in hand, I felt like an imposter. Very little attention seemed to have been given to the curriculum of the applicants. Entry, at least, was initially free. Once it began I was assured there would be regular installments for its duration. The course length was unspecified. Time spent participating was rewarded far more highly than setting a new course record. And there were no drink stops. No medals. No sponsorship. Just relentless rounds of broken sleep, early baths and an “I love daddy” t-shirt decorated with tears and a sprinkling of vomit.

It sounded akin to the kind of stoic next-level endurance feats I would scroll past on social media. So impossibly long and hard that I might linger to press like, but quickly shake my head and assure myself it couldn’t possibly be good for you. But here I was. My double red-stripe ticket in hand and the countdown clock already ticking. Training needed to begin fast. Luck was on my side, though. Like any future-father fanboy, I had reached out to three experts, and they had taken me under their paternal wing. If there was any hope of maintaining fitness whilst being a good dad, I would need every time-bending tip they could spare.

THE JOURNEY TO THE START LINE