Five Kinds Of Instagram Accounts

The low-down on lockdown feeds, from talking animals to culinary sensations

- Rehana Munir

A few years ago, I overheard this gem at a bar: “It's the best time to be a social scientist, worst time to be alive. I'm not a nihilist. I'm an optimistic misanthrope. Social scientists these days are, of course, busy studying the co-relation between lockdown restrictions and social media usage. Here are a few categories of Instagram accounts in our Age of Lockdown.

Pet speak

I'm as much a fan of anthropomorphism as the next person: I've often found doorknobs looking at me beseechingly and hostile chairs turning their backs on me. But I do stop short of putting words in the mouths of these inanimate objects. That's not an impediment for pet people on Instagram, though. All around me, I find puppies and kittens speaking in human voices, like ventriloquists' dummies. They even talk in their sleep, from under soft blankets in capacious baskets. They sulk, judge, pine, preen, gossip, boast. Mostly, they complain about quarantine and revel in trips out of the house. Ah, modern humans, condemned to truly express themselves only in the guise of beloved pets.

Lust for life