Sick Of That Same Old Love? Get Those First Date Feelings Back

What to do if your sex drive isn't what it used to be.

You have amazing sex five times a week, right? You’re always in the mood for it – keen to get down and dirty whenever your man gives you so much as a sideways glance. Or maybe not. The truth is, sometimes, you don’t want to do the horizontal dance of love. Sometimes, you may not want sex for a few days, a couple of weeks or perhaps even longer. About 40 percent of women experience low libido – lack of sexual desire – at some point in their lives, for reasons as varied and complex as women themselves. The key to dealing with it? Knowing the cause.

Sayonara, honeymoon period! Remember when you first met your partner and the only thing that could tear you apart was a high-pressured hose (no pun intended) or your friends screaming, “Get a room!”? Experts have a name for this honeymoon phase: limerence. And the reason there’s a specific, scientific-sounding word to describe this period of infatuation with someone new is because it’s been proven to alter our emotional, physical, intellectual and sexual states.

“Female desire is maximised during limerence,” explains Dr Rosie King, sex expert and author of Where Did My Libido Go?. “An increase in pleasure hormones triggers a rise in testosterone in women, which in turn enhances sexual desire. But 12 to 18 months on, limerence begins to fade, so it’s unrealistic to expect that same level of sexual desire to be present later on in your relationship.”