Does Your Marriage Need Help?

Dr Quratulain Zaidi of Mind N Life discusses the pressures that expat life can exert on married couples and how to combat them.

- Dr Quratulain Zaidi

In recent years, I’ve seen a notable increase in married people seeking help because they’ve discovered their partner has been unfaithful. About seven in ten of these believed they had happy, stable marriages. And every single one expressed the same sentiment: “I knew this happened in Hong Kong, and I’ve had friends who’ve gone through it, but I never thought it would happen to me!”

But somehow, it did. So, what is it about Hong Kong that can make it a “marriage graveyard”?

Work getting in the way

Expats in Hong Kong can have extremely demanding jobs. People are often taken out of their comfort zone and challenged with all-consuming positions. The pressure to succeed can be very stressful, particularly in the current market conditions.

As a result, working spouses may be irritable and preoccupied, and can suffer from stress-related problems such as disturbed sleep or headaches. At home, this can manifest itself as frustrations with small things, leading to escalations in arguments. The strain, originating with work-related stress, can eventually lead to a sense of marital dissatisfaction.

Jobs may also take on important global roles with big titles and sizeable pay-cheques. For some individuals, the combination can be heady, leading to an augmented sense of importance and entitlement.