When ooh becomes aargh

If sex used to be good but now has you sobbing into your pillow because of pain, something’s not right. Jo Upcraft finds out how to overcome the discomfort.

- Jo UpUpcraft

You haven’t just given birth, over-limbered at the gym, or attempted to show your girlfriends on a recent night out that, yes, you can still do a split. But, for some reason, your lady parts are experiencing discomfort during sex.

“Painful sex, medically known as dyspareunia, is a common problem,” says Dr Kelly Loi, medical director, gynaecologist, and obstetrician at the Health and Fertility Centre for Women. “I see two to three patients a month about it.”

Pinpointing why sex is painful can be difficult as it may not be just physical. There could be psychological reasons, too. “This is why communication is paramount,” adds Dr Loi. “You must seek help as a couple sooner rather than later because, if the issue manifests, it could lead to cracks in the entire relationship.” There are a number of reasons why lovemaking can suddenly become unbearable, and the majority can be diagnosed. Read on to understand your body better, so you make only the right kind of screams in the heat of the moment.

A retroverted womb

If there’s any sexual move that’s easily mastered, it’s the one that involves us just, well, lying on our back. However, Dr Christopher Chong, urogynaecologist and gynaecologist at Gleneagles Hospital, says around 20 per cent of women have a retroverted uterus. This means their womb is tipped backwards and points towards the rectum, making the missionary position painful. “A retroverted uterus also comes with ovaries and fallopian tubes that are tipped backwards as well, and can get butted by the head of the penis during intercourse,” Dr Chong explains. Two words: passion killer.