How We Dealt With Heartbreak!

Two women, two very different reactions to a break-up. Clara How swore off men for six months, while a woman Hoe I Yune spoke to went on a dating spree to get over her ex. Extreme choices, no doubt, but both women took away lessons in love.

In early 2015, I found myself at my lowest, crying under my desk at work.

I had been typing on my keyboard, tears running down my cheeks, when I glimpsed my boss heading my way. Ninja-like, I ducked under my table until the coast was clear.

The cause of my distress was realising that my ex-boyfriend had a new girlfriend, just weeks after we’d split up. We had been together almost three years, and I was adjusting to my new normal, which meant we were still texting and exchanging e-mails. But that day, I received a two-line e-mail telling me that all contact between us would have to stop. It was my first real heartbreak, and I completely fell apart. I wallowed in self pity for months, but at some point, decided I had to meet a new man, someone who would blow my ex out of the water.

That didn’t happen. I fell into a dark hole of dating men who enjoyed my company, but didn’t want to commit. One guy ghosted. Another said we didn’t have a connection. A third told me he wasn’t looking for anything serious. My self-esteem took a beating. “What’s wrong with me?”, I wailed to a close friend. The last straw was Zach*. We met on a dating app and hit it off. After two months of frequent texting, we went for a movie, and drinks after. Things looked promising. But on our second date, he dropped a bomb – he wasn’t looking for a relationship. It was one more rejection I just couldn’t handle.