Holden ducks squirting bot

A STRANGE mechanical being wept fake tears on Britain’s Got Talent last night.

- Garry Bushell

And for once it wasn’t Simon Cowell. Titan the Robot, right, sang Cry Me

A River while spraying great fountains of water at the judges. Please bring him back for Ring Of Fire.

Poor Amanda was on her knees, cowering behind the desk, trying not to get soaked – a completely new experience for her, obviously.

Titan aped Attenborough, aimed Barbie Girl at Amanda and read the septic sewer that is David Walliams’ mind, claiming to see a “vision” of Cowell…