Shame Only Exists For As Long As You Stay Silent

Cheryl Zondi made headlines in 2018 when she waived the right to remain anonymous as the first witness in the ongoing rape trial of Nigerian pastor Timothy Omotoso and his two coaccused. Collectively, they face 63 charges and 34 alternative charges, which include rape, sexual assault and racketeering. Omotoso has pleaded ‘not guilty’ to all charges. Zondi, now 22 years old, reveals why coming forward and saying #MeToo was essential to her healing

- Haji Mohamed Dawjee

I struggled with feeling humiliated for something that I didn’t ask for,’ Zondi says. ‘I asked myself why I was ashamed of being raped when it’s the person who did this to me who should feel the shame. But then I realised that the shame only exists for as long as you stay silent. As soon as I said something, as soon as I spoke out, there was an exchange of shame. And it shifted to the person it belongs to – it shifted to Timothy Omotoso.’

Zondi was 14 years old when she became the victim of heinous acts of sexual violence and misconduct. ‘I come from a Christian home,’ she says. ‘When Omotoso came along, I saw him as an authority figure. He established himself in my community, and he resonated with the very core of my belief system.’

She explains how the seeds of control were planted: ‘Omotoso’s power was a spiritual one and, as a believer, all you want to do is get closer to God. You trust that someone who speaks to Him every day will get you there. I trusted Omotoso because of the impression he gave me – what he represented was someone who operated on a higher belief system, a level I wanted to attain and subscribe to. When you’re dealing with someone who has conversations with God day and night, you start to believe that this is a man who must be right.’

Omotoso was a shrewd manipulator. ‘He always talked about bettering the lives of the youth,’ Zondi says. ‘I wanted to be a singer from a young age, and music was also one of the reasons I was attracted to the church.’ Here was a man who not only spoke the same sacred language as she did, but who was also musically inclined. ‘He played instruments and composed songs, and he tapped into my aspirations,’ she says. ‘I wanted to be a singer in the ministry, so he drew me closer through my dreams.’