What are we really looking for when we set out to find a former flame?
I HADN’T SPOKEN to Adam (not his real name … his real name is Dante*) in years. We dated when I was 19 and the kind of train wreck a lot of us are at 19. A girl who lied about her gran dying in order to end a relationship. A girl who pretended not to be home when he rushed over to work things out. A girl who was there one minute, gone the next.
I couldn’t say why, exactly, I’d decided to reach out to Adam. Reconnecting with an ex isn’t really something you plan. A song comes on the radio and you find yourself leaving an awkward voicemail about Death Cab for Cutie. You’re lying beside your sleeping significant other and you accidentally like a picture on an Instagram account you don’t even follow. Whether we act on it or not, we’ve all had the impulse to reach out, to ‘check in’, to go searching for what feels like a misplaced sweater that used to look super-cute on us – not because we want to wear it again but just to make sure it still fits. We justify our actions with all sorts of excuses about closure or making amends or wanting to make sure the other person is happy. The truth is, checking in really isn’t about them. It’s about us.
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der September 2016-Ausgabe von Cosmopolitan - South Africa.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent ? Anmelden
Diese Geschichte stammt aus der September 2016-Ausgabe von Cosmopolitan - South Africa.
Starten Sie Ihre 7-tägige kostenlose Testversion von Magzter GOLD, um auf Tausende kuratierte Premium-Storys sowie über 8.000 Zeitschriften und Zeitungen zuzugreifen.
Bereits Abonnent? Anmelden
Marc Buckner
The Bachelor SA Season 2’s star is here to make you swoon. Find out why boss babes are ready to risk it all for this adventurous dog lover.
I Tested Positive For The Alzheimer's Gene At 26 Years Old
A DNA testing kit is like a crystal ball, but what if you don’t like what you see?
Basically No-One Has A 28-Day Menstrual Cycle
Brought to you by: the idea of a ‘normal’ period is a lie
For Those Times When You're Like, ‘I Love You, But You're Annoying...'
Coupledom can be hard!
How To Get Sh*t Done
Calling all procrastinators: sometimes getting started on a new project or goal can be the hardest part. Here’s how to stop putting it off and actually press go
Is Rage Bait Okay?
It has become the new engagement strategy for many brands. Companies bait their followers into engaging with their content around topics that cause outrage. But is this okay? Social -media strategists Talya Goldberg and Jabulile Dlamini -Qwesha share their views.
Is Cardio A Scam? And 7 Other Not-stupid Questions About Fitness Things
Thanks for calling 0800 -WTF- Is -This
Hold The Phone
Zozibini Tunzi is here to remind you all to Take. Up. Space. She’s rewriting the pageantry rulebook, and she wants you to join in (in a bath, wearing sparkly boots, because that’s just how we roll).
How To Tell It Like It Is *And Finally Get A Promotion*
Receiving constructive criticism on your work can be terrifying. But do it right and it can be a career game-changer.
What Makes A Compulsive Liar?
We all do it. Tell those lit t le white lies to ourselves, and others. But what about those for whom lying is a way of life? Catriona Harvey-Jenner investigates the rise of a new kind of scammer.
