The One Thing You Should Never Say To A Single Girl

Desperate, luckless, promiscuous... Unattached women are tagged with their fair share of labels. But there’s one that DOLLY ALDERTON finds more provocative than any other

- Dolly Alderton

The year is 2013 and I’ve just come back from one of the worst dates I have ever had. I walk into my apartment, where my roommate is watching TV with her boyfriend.

‘How was it?’ she asks. ‘Awful,’ I say, grabbing wine from the fridge and taking a swig straight from the bottle. ‘He didn’t ask me one question, talked about himself all night, turned up already drunk, bit my lip when he tried to kiss me and pushed me against a wall so hard in an attempt to seem passionate, I think I’ve got whiplash in my neck.’

There’s a brief pause. ‘So you really don’t see it working out?’

‘Um. No. Did you not just hear what happened?’

‘It’s a shame,’ she says. ‘I just think he sounded so perfect for you.’

‘How?’ ‘He’s tall, he’s handsome, he’s successful, he owns his own house,’ she says, gesticulating pleadingly.

‘I’m not going to forgo a boyfriend with any personality or ability to kiss properly just because he’s a property owner,’ I say.

‘I just think you’re being too picky,’ she replies. ‘Sorry, but I do. If you want to meet someone, you may have to lower your standards a bit. Nobody’s perfect.’ Her boyfriend nods in silent, sage agreement.

Sound familiar? I’m not surprised. ‘You’re just too picky’ has commonly been thrown at me and my single girlfriends for all of our late 20s, and it is driving me increasingly mad with every year older I get.